Your body knows whether a room is safe before your brain understands why. If you don’t know what to do with that signal, it doesn’t disappear. It often gets handed to the people who love you most.
In this episode of One Part Lion, One Part Lamb, Stephen Scoggins sits down with Sara Hartley, an ADHD and nervous system regulation coach and children’s book author, to unpack the hidden physical sequence that happens in your body in the seconds before you snap. Sara shares the tool she built to interrupt that sequence in under 60 seconds: the ALIGN method. It’s the lion and lamb approach in real time: the strength to lead and perform at a high level, paired with the humility to stop, name what’s happening in your body, and choose a response instead of a reaction.
Who Is Sara Hartley?
Sara Hartley is an ADHD and nervous system regulation coach and the author of children’s books that help kids understand their emotions. After her own journey through ADHD, burnout, and Lyme disease, she created the ALIGN method to help leaders, parents, and families move from reaction to response.
Key Takeaways From This Episode
- The people closest to you often feel your dysregulation most. It isn’t because you don’t love them. It’s because you feel safest with them.
- Your body signals a trigger before your mind catches up. Stephen describes the “sword and shield” sensation he felt long before he had a name for it.
- Stress responses go beyond fight or flight. Sara explains fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and why some people dissociate and don’t remember what happened.
- The ALIGN method takes under 60 seconds. It’s a five-step tool for shifting from reaction to response.
- High-capacity leaders are skilled at hiding dysfunction, and it quietly costs them at work and at home.
- “You’re not set in your ways. You’re choosing to stay in your way.” Long-held patterns can change.
Understanding Triggers and Dysregulation
Sara breaks down what happens in your body when you’re triggered, from the first physical cues to the moment you react. She and Stephen discuss how recognizing these signals early is the key to breaking patterns you may have carried for decades.
The ALIGN Method: Reaction to Response in 60 Seconds
At the heart of the episode is Sara’s ALIGN method, a five-step process that helps you notice what’s happening in your body, name it, and choose how to respond. Because it takes less than a minute, it’s practical in a heated meeting, a tense conversation, or a hard moment at home.
Why Leaders Hide Dysfunction
Sara shares her own story of ADHD, burnout, and Lyme disease, and explains why high achievers are often the best at masking what’s really going on. She also offers a reframe of ADHD as a strength rather than a weakness.
Regulating at Home: Parenting and Family
The conversation turns to parenting and how regulated adults help kids learn to regulate themselves. Sara shares how her children’s books and free resources help families build these skills together.
Episode Highlights
- 0:00 Trailer
- 1:09 Welcome and meet Sara Hartley
- 4:36 Understanding triggers and dysregulation
- 22:20 The ALIGN method: reaction to response in 60 seconds
- 28:01 Breaking patterns you’ve carried for decades
- 36:37 Sara’s story: ADHD, burnout, and Lyme disease
- 46:14 Why leaders hide dysfunction
- 58:22 Reframing ADHD as a superpower
- 1:01:40 Parenting and regulating at home
- 1:12:43 Sara’s free tools, quiz, and where to find her
- 1:16:37 Rapid-fire questions
Frequently Asked Questions
What is nervous system regulation?
Nervous system regulation is the ability to notice when your body shifts into a stress response and guide it back to a calm, grounded state, so you can respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.
What is the ALIGN method?
The ALIGN method is Sara Hartley’s five-step tool for moving from reaction to response in under 60 seconds. Her website offers free ALIGN resources.
What are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn?
They are the four common stress responses. Fight pushes back, flight escapes, freeze shuts down, and fawn tries to please or appease. Sara explains how each shows up and why some people dissociate during intense moments.
Why do we take stress out on the people we love most?
According to Sara, we often release dysregulation where we feel safest, which is usually with family. Learning to regulate protects those relationships.
This episode is for educational purposes and isn’t a substitute for professional medical or mental health care.
Listen and Subscribe
🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify
📺 Subscribe on YouTube: @LionLambWithStephen | @Stephen_Scoggins
Connect with Sara Hartley: Website: free ALIGN resources, quiz, and children’s books | Instagram
Follow Stephen Scoggins: Website | Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn